What?… Strip Searches At The Bank Now?!

It seems that’s just about where things ARE here in Nashville, Tennessee!

Here’s how it all went down…

Saturday morning, I’m up bright & early and decide to make a run to the bank to make a deposit.

When I get there, I’m the only car in the lot. Though there are 3 cars in the drive-up.

I mosey on in — the place is LOADED with bank tellers, yet no other customers but me inside… It’s completely silent, and all eyes are on me.

I “wait in line” with all 3 tellers looking at me awhile (none of them busy doing anything that I could tell) until one of them signals that I can approach her window.

I give her my best 9:00-in-the-morning “Hi, how are ya? I just need to make a deposit.”

This teller got a little “nervous”, as if she didn’t know quite how to tell me… Then she leaned down toward me and said softly (almost in a whisper), “Okay. But I’m gonna have to ask you to remove your hat first.”

I was like, “Is she talkin to me?!…”

But I look around, and there’s STILL no one else in the bank but me. So I was, in fact, the intended recipient of this statement.

Knowing what I looked like underneath that baseball cap that I had donned for the purpose of covering up my lack-of-shower, far-too-early-in-the-morning-to-care-what-I-look-like-on-the-weekend Hairdo…
I smiled & said, “Are you kidding?!”

She points to an 8-1/2 x 11 inch sign which they had made from a personal laser printer and taped to a plastic stand on the counter which stated something along these lines:

“In an effort to meet stricter security enforcements, all bank customers must remove their hats.”

I gave her (and the two OTHER tellers who were watching closely to see how this all was going to ‘go down’… AND the 2 bank account reps who were working from their nearby cubicles and staring intently at me…) a look like, “Don’t shoot or anything. I come in peace.”

I politely obliged and removed the ball cap. (As a defense mechanism, I tried to keep my eyes focused DIRECTLY on the transaction taking place, cuz I didn’t want to inadvertantly catch some reflection of myself in a glass window or a plastic display board — that would remind me of just how HORRID my bee’s-nest of a hairdo WAS under that hat!)

As I removed the hat, I rolled my eyes in shame and said (without cracking a smile), “Well then… let’s make this quick.”

All the lady tellers tried to assure me that it didn’t look THAT bad.

However, NOW the entire place was abuzz with chitter chatter and light chuckles!

I swear, I must’ve been the very first customer they had tried that sign out on. It was as if the entire place let out a sigh of relief when I removed my cap. As if they were collectively saying, “Whew… it worked. Okay. We can keep doing these strict security enforcements now.”

A False Sense of Security
Whatever. If it helps to deter some crimes, then so be it. But it seems they’d have a bit more of an “official” sign. And maybe some notice BEFORE you enter the bank — as opposed to as you get to the counter? Anyone think of that?!

And it seems like the whole place could do a better job of not putting you on display like a circus animal or something.

And what about the fact that if a burgler is intent on robbing the bank in the first place, don’t ya think he’d just IGNORE the teller’s request to remove the hat? I dunno, maybe burglers are kinder than I’ve imagined them to be, and perhaps such a sign is EXACTLY what would prevent the crime from taking place…

Where’s The Customer Service Here?
Better yet, Jim and I are convinced that it’s simply the bank’s ploy to:
a) give customers another false sense of security and
b) come up with yet ANOTHER way to prevent customers from actually receiving “customer service”.

Has anyone but us noticed that you are fee’d to death these days for everything at a bank? If you use their services too MUCH. If you use their services too LITTLE. If you need to actually come inside and SPEAK with them in person, as opposed to using their website or their 800-line or even their drive-up window — where they route 3 drive-thru aisles through ONE teller who is processing all their requests!

Customer service has gone by the wayside these days — in lieu of making a buck. Oh, and “increased security”.